jueves, 4 de julio de 2013

This is so depressing...

Wii U owners don't know how to play Super Metroid










If you're a jaded hardcore gamer, and if you've ever complained that the new generation of "dumbed down" console gamers are the bane of life, prepare to feel justified. The arrival of Super Metroid on Wii U demonstrates the depths of mental degradation humanity's suffered since you were a child.


The Super Metroid Miiverse community is currently littered with people asking why Samus can't crawl through a small gap. They've all taken screenshots, they're all stuck at the same place, and they all seem fully unaware of how to play Super Metroid.


Some of them think this is a glitch. It's quite possible they all think this game was released for the first time yesterday ... just imagine that. Imagine it long and hard.


You hate it, don't you? But also, you love the sense of superiority. You are at once disgusted with the simple-minded idiocy on display, and thrilled that you're better at videogames than these people. You're furious Call of Duty literally murdered the brain cells of these goons, and yet you feel so validated by what you see as proof of everything you believe.


Today is your best and worst moment. Enjoy it. Loathe it.
"y cant metroid crawl?" [NeoGAF]

5 comentarios:

  1. wow...I had no idea this new generation of people are retarded. See this is what happens when you give the answers on the test the day of the test. You breed ignorance. I'm glad I haven't had kids yet, i'd be ashamed of my son or daughter that couldn't figure something like this out. To think that they would call this a glitch is worse than laughable. You can't fix stupid, the only option left is to amputate and quarantine.

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    1. Lol I personally loved in the article when the guy blames CoD for it XD.

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  2. Aha, I saw this awhile back. A few of them actually managed to beat the game, and I remember this one kid whom I forgot his name was overjoyed at doing so. Most would have given up, I'm sure, and some are probably trolls. However, for those that do enjoy their time playing it; I feel for them. I used to love that game so much, and the first time I played it.. it was immense. The difficulty nowadays even on the hardest just doesn't offer the same amount of self-satisfaction once you manage to complete something.

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    1. I wasn't sure how old this was, because the wii store has been up from a long time, and I don't own a wii, but the article was dated recently, I guess this miiverse community is relatively new? Anyway, as a side note I have always hated when someone would tell me how to do something, or achieve some secret on a videogame, I have always take great pride on what I do, and I want to do it by myself, I still recall the first time I used a guide was to beat Brainlord for Snes, but it was until I have started over the game like 3 times and be stuck at the same place, the infamous room with the closed door that has the clue "The key to this door lies in the gamepad" I still try to let the guide as a last resort, and I always regret using them, because it always turn that the answer was pretty obvious/simple, last time I used them was on the Phoenix Wright series, I think I used it once in every game >.<

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  3. Just a FYI, but 'p4rgaming' is like 'The Onion' for video games. They take a subject, and overblow it towards unrealistic results. Like the fake interview with Iwata about how almost no one could beat the first level of Mario 1. It's not real, but it takes a real topic and skewers it towards a greater extreme.

    Still, it's pretty clear that today's newest generation of gamers have been hand holed for most of their gaming experience, and kinda forgot how to do logical self thinking. If you don't outright tell them how to do things, they will not do it period :P

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